On becoming Catholic

Let me cut to the chase. I am becoming a Catholic. My confirmation is scheduled for Holy Saturday (in Catholic language this means the Saturday before Easter or April 15, 2006). Every Sunday I attend, after Mass, RCIA classes. RCIA stands for Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults. It is a complex and time consuming process. Sometimes quite tedious. The people in charge of it at my church are kind of disorganized and a little crazy. My friends question how a mom with a young son could convert to Catholicism--of all religions. The nasty pedophile priests have given the Catholics a pretty bad rap. And, I don't appear to be very religious, and really, in a traditional definition, probably am not. After attending a few of the classes, it became obvious to me that people who go to RCIA fall into three basic categories with very few exceptions:

1) A member of a couple that is getting married and their future spouse wants to have full mass at their wedding with both members of the new couple fully participating,
a) groom being forced to become Catholic because future wife demands it
b) groom or bride were raised Catholic but somehow missed the Confirmation process which would be easy to do since it happens YEARs after First Communion and dragging a surly teenager to Mass and Sunday school wouldn't be fun for anybody
2) Parents of school age or younger children who have a need to raise their children similarly to how they were raised by their parents
3) People who are old and confronting their morality and sinful past lives and have some concern about what happens when they die and are looking for answers.

That is it. Typically, it seems that most Catholics are "cradle Catholics" and were raised Catholic and don't have to go through this weird adult decision and process. Anyone else who wants to join the club, needs to do this. And, as any Catholic knows, to get what you want out of the Catholic church, you must play by their rules. 100%.

Why me? I fall into the category of a mom with a school age child. It is time for the Kid to start his First Communion process as he is in second grade (he is actually 1 year late, but that isn't unusual now a days). My Husband's family is very Catholic. They are Catholics from Spain Catholic. Once-a-week Mass, praying the rosary, baptism, communition & confirmation Catholics. I am sure my Husband's mother and four sisters have been lighting candles for the 9 years of our marriage hoping for just such a miracle. I am positive my mother-in-law has probably worried herself sick over my Kid's religious upbringing and has prayed many, many times about this problem. My husband of course (the of course means this is typical) is a Catholic drop out and seemed to be happy with our lack of faith. To his credit, he tried to get us married in the Catholic church. But after checking into it, he got discouraged by the rules, as he was interested in getting married in the out-of-doors. Turns out, you can only get married outside in Orange County by a Catholic Priest if a Jewish Rabbi is actually presiding over the wedding. The real rule in the Catholic religion is that marriage is a sacrament which can ONLY be performed in a Catholic church (makes sense). However, in THE OC, apparently some rich Catholic was marrying some rich Jew and they got some sort of exception in the OC Diocese for their wedding so they could have a big expensive wedding outside. At that point in the investigation process, my husband became re-disgusted with the Catholic religion. We ended up getting married at noon, at Five Crowns (a Lawrey's owned restaurant in the style of an English pub) in their garden in Corona del Mar. It was, in my opinion, a nice luncheon with a nice jazz band and kegs of beer (donated by our OC brewer friends). A Methodist Minister presided and we had a Christian wedding. I have learned later from the Catholics that our marriage counts in their book as an official sacrament and doesn't have to be re-done in the Catholic church to count because it is in fact a Christian marriage. See, they aren't as tough as they appear after all. However, should we get divorced we wouldn't have to get the marriage annulled because it really isn't in their records, and we would each be free to remarry in the Catholic church. I know, a web of contradictions.

My Catholic roots go way back. My mom is Methodist and married into a strong German Catholic family. My parents were married in the Catholic church (Fort Wayne, IN), but not at the alter. In those days, when you married a non-Catholic you got married in the aisle. My mom had aunts that refused to go to her wedding, due to the fact that she was marrying a Catholic. I guess, in the old days, the Methodists didn't like the Catholics. I was baptized Catholic about 9 months after my birth, and my mom promised to bring me up Catholic. I had godparents, my Aunt and Uncle on my dad's side. My mom told me she had full intentions of raising me Catholic, but since my dad immediately became a Catholic dropout upon marriage, she decided, to heck with this, and started taking me and eventually my sister to Methodist church. We went regularly until I was about 14. I actively participated in Youth Group and Choir.

Why now? Cut to the present. my godmother died over the past Memorial Day weekend (2005). I flew back to Fort Wayne, Indiana to help my cousin attend to the funeral becausemy Aunt's husband (my godfather) had died about 10 years earlier. My cousin is the youngest of 4 and, coincidentally, adopted. She was the caregiver for my Aunt in her later years, managing the household, my aunts hospice care in my aunt's home, and managing the money. She also got to manage the funeral. It is lucky that my aunt and uncle adopted her, or else who would have taken care of all that? At least that is my comment to my cousin. The bottom line is that during the process of preparing for the funeral, my cousin selected me to be the first reader (from the old Testament). I was a little lost during the service as to when to stand and when to kneel and when my reading was. Which is typical for me during the many Catholic services I have gone to over the years. At the viewing, the night before, and during the service, the Priest gave a really good speech about my Aunt and her devotion to the church, and the help she provided him personally in his 10 years that he knew her. They first met when he gave the funeral for my uncle. This little tiny Sri Lankan priest said very touching things about my aunt and spoke to her devotion to the church and her friendship with him. My Aunt lived in the shadow of my uncle, the doctor, her whole life without getting much credit for her accomplishments, even from her own children (except my cousin, the youngest adopted child). I was impressed. When I realized how much the church had meant to my Aunt, and how much it provided her comfort and a way to contribute in her community, I decided right then and there during the service that as a tribute to my Aunt, I would actively raise my kid Catholic, and I would officially convert to Catholicism. I figured she would be very happy.

Immediately when I got back that Thursday from the funeral, I called the local Catholic Church and entered their RCIA program which had just started for the new year. This particular church is EXTREMELY well funded due to its location in Newport Beach central. I am told there are celebrities at the church. Like Kobe Bryant for example. A lot of good it has done him, but apparently he gave a BIG donation during "the trouble."

As part of my RCIA process, I had to select a sponsor. They were going to select one for me but I said no, I would find my own. So I asked my friend if she would be my sponsor. My friend is a former co-worker of mine (5 years ago). She and I attend "spin" classes weekly, and have bagels and coffee afterwards. Her brother is a Priest and she has raised both her kids Catholic. So I figured she was perfect. She has been perfect. Whenever I have questions, she emails them to her brother, The Priest. He is a Priest in Hawaii which I think must be a pretty good gig. He thinks I am a little crazy because I check everything out and question everything.

So far so good. Me and my friend have learned a lot. The Catholic religion, being a very old Christian religion, has a lot of history. Plus it is very rooted in deep tradition with good moral values. It has felt right from the very beginning. I have told my parents, who were cool with this (my mom is in favor of religious upbringing). I haven't told my husband's mother yet. Why get her all excited?

My Kid started his Sunday School classes in September and will go through his First Communion, not this Easter, but the next Easter. They don't confirm kids until the can think for themselves which is ninth grade or so, I think. I will have to remain devout at least until then.
My friend says I shows signs of being a very good Catholic.

This was the First Reading at my Aunt's Mass:

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8