Coach Nasty

Anybody can coach AYSO soccer. This spring soccer season was proof.

My husband decided to sign the Kid up for Spring Soccer again. My husband (being a European immigrant) thinks that baseball is boring and anyone can just pick it up if they want to. Real men play soccer. As usual, my husband put down on the signup form that he would coach. Instead of coach, he was assistant coach to someone I eventually began calling “Coach Nasty.”

First sign that things would go badly: Coach Nasty didn’t contact anybody or respond to emails about practice or games, including requests from the AYSO coordinators to contact them. So, my husband went and picked up all the uniforms and team information to get it to the coach (when he surfaced). The Coach surfaced within 24 hours and left a strongly worded voice mail requesting that my husband stop interfering and demanding that my husband bring all the uniforms and information over to his home immediately.

My husband immediately returned all items back to the AYSO coordinator. Nice one.

Coach Nasty's practice time of choice was 5:30 pm on Fridays. Very convenient for him. Great way to start the weekend.

At the first game, the tall, over weight balding coach shouted confusing calls to the 7-year-old kids from the sidelines. In the middle of the first quarter he called my Kid to the sidelines and berated him for not listening and said he was out of the game until he could listen. Complete violation of AYSO on so many levels including no substituting of players mid-quarter. Of course, the Kid burst into tears. My husband was out on the field refereeing and didn’t get to witnes this. I walked up to the Coach and my Kid and led the Kid away, trying to get him under control as he sobbed “I hate the Coach.” The Coach was pretty startled. I guess he assumed since he had never met me, there wasn’t anyone on the sidelines to observe his actions intimidating a little kid.

At the end of this game, a parent asked the Coach if he could please email practice changes and cancellations and also respond to emails. Coach Nasty said he gets hundreds of emails a day, and he couldn’t be bothered. The parent then asked for a phone number where he could call the Coach for information. The Coach refused. Coach Nasty followed up that request later the same evening with an email to the parent (with a copy to the AYSO coordinator) asking that this parent’s kid be removed from the team because the parent was belligerent (not true, the entire time the parent was extremely polite). Email below:

“I think it in the best interest for all that you find another team for your son. I thought about your actions today and do not deserve your harassment or embarrassing behavior in front of the players and their parents. You came up to me before the game, during the game and after the game to complain and harass me. I will not tolerate this behavior from either a parent or a player. I had to nip this in the bud right away.”

The entire season went like this. The kids, although pretty good individually never jelled as a team. The coach sent curt emails calling out kids who weren’t at practice. He repeatedly argued with any referee (typically my husband who is also an AYSO referee) and took incredible exception to standard AYSO rules designed to promote learning and teamwork like rotating players every quarter to different positions. He emphasized winning above everything and showed unusual favoritism to his son (an aggresive player whose nasty tactic is to draw fouls).

After the email below, I took action and sent a formal complaint letter to the AYSO Coordinator and assorted muckity mucks. AYSO called me for more information and came to observe practices therefter:

“Hello All,
For those who braved the Rain on Saturday to play the game, Congratulations for your dedication to your teammates. For those who weren't there, you missed a fun time. This week’s practice is Friday at 5:15 pm due to rain forecast for the next 2 days. You owe it to your team mates to show up to practice and the games.
Coach
Players MIA from last Saturday's game were: Tim, Bob, Billy and John.”

As I told the AYSO people, we could deal with the rest of the season, but this guy should never be allowed to field a soccer team of young children ever again. Other parents joined me with “on the record” complaints. We also began an internet search on the Coach and learned lots about his education (USC … it figures) and his business ventures including funding film investment in Germany (again ... it figures).

My least favorite last thing he did was at the final practice when he told the kids if they didn’t win, they wouldn’t get their medals. There are so many things wrong with that statement from a child development perspective, it is hard to know where to begin, including the fact the team almost never won. A senior AYSO staff member came and watched the last game. He commented to a parent that this guy had been trouble for a long time as a parent and as a prior coach. That shocked me. AYSO is a group of volunteers. Why do they have to put up with bad behavior from anybody? And why hadn’t any other parents in the past complained strongly enough to get this guy removed? At least this group of parents did something and no other children or parents will have to ever experience Coach Nasty.

His AYSO soccer days are over.